Poo Attack

Ava is sitting in a bouncy seat in the kitchen with me as I cook dinner. Blake comes in from work....

B: Did Ava spill something on herself?
R: What?
I glance to our daughter and sure enough she had a blowout that made it out the front of her diaper (I've seen it multiple times, it's Blake's first time)
B: I guess she needs to be cleaned up?
R: Haha, um, yeah Blake, she's all yours! Put her in the bath to wash her off....it looks like a bad one.
30 minutes later he comes downstairs with her dressed in a 9 month outfit (she's 6 weeks old) falling off of her, and a trash bag with her dirty outfit, the dirty diaper, and many wipes.
R: Did you not just wash her off?
B: I did. I used a box of the wipes to clean her and she's clean.
R: You mean you used wipes out of the box up there?
B: I used the whole box.
R: Nice, that's $4 worth of wipes for one diaper change.
B: At least she's clean. Also, that was poop wasn't it?
R: Yes, why?
B: I just thought that poop came out of her butt, and her butt was almost clean but the poop had gotten all over her front, out the front of her diaper, and all over her face and neck.
R: There wasn't any on her face/neck when she went upstairs.
B: She may have rolled in her dirty diaper when my back was turned picking out her new outfit.

Birth Mark

When Ava was born, she has what is commonly known as a "Stork Bite" on the back of her head. It's essentially a birth mark that will probably fade by the time she's 18 months old.

Scene: I'm sitting upstairs in bed with the baby and Blake comes in the room.

R: I am so in love with this little girl!
B: That's a good thing, she is pretty amazing.
R: What is your favorite part of her?
B: All of her.
R: You have to choose just one.
B: I think right now it's her "Ostrich Peck".
R: Her what?
B: The birthmark on her head, the "Ostrich Peck!"

She's Here!

Ava Kathryn Hendrickson was born on July 2nd, 2010 at 8:30pm. She weighed in at 6lbs and was 19.5" long. We've now been home for about 3.5 weeks, and things are great! She is the most amazing, perfect, funny, sweet, wonderful little being that we have ever met in our lives. Had we known what parenthood would have been, we would have done this a long time ago!

The Push Gift

B: So I hear I have to buy you something when Ava is born.
R: Yes.
B: I have picked out your "Push" gift.
R: "Push" gift? Ok....I'm hoping for something sparkley.
B: Ummmm, how about I pay to have granite put down in our master bathroom, it can be sparkley?
R: NO. The point of this gift is not to benefit "us". You have been able to do whatever you want over the last 9 months while I have been building a baby. No granite, no tile, no vacuum cleaner, no lawn mower.
B: But I've had to put up with you for the last 9 months!

Skip to scene 5 minutes later:
Blake on the sofa, me comfy in the bed with the dogs

B: (Calling from downstairs) Sparkley it is! Can I come back to bed now?

Are you worried?

R: What are you the most nervous about having Ava in 2 weeks?
B: I'm not nervous at all.
R: Even with things like SIDS out there, you're not worried?
B: Why worry about something you can't prevent?
R: There are a lot of things you can do to lower your chances.....do you know what SIDS stands for?
B: (thinking very hard for at least 2 minutes) "Sick Infant Disorder".
R: You are missing another S!
B: "Super Sick Infant Disorder"

Target

R: We need to take all the duplicates from the baby showers back to Target.
B: Ok.
After returning all of the items we have about $300 on a Target Giftcard
B: Why don't I just put that in my wallet to keep it safe.
R: HAHA! Um, no. Give it to me and I'll put it in my wallet so when we need something for Ava we have it.
B: Ava already has everything she needs.
R: What about diapers?
B: We have plenty.
R: Define plenty.
B: She has enough to last her at least for 3 or 4 months.
R: How many diapers is that?
B: 100.
R: That's not really enough at all.
B: We'll have more money when she needs diapers and there are things we need now from Target.
R: Like what?
B: A new grill.
R: No.
B: A new TV.
R: No.
B: You're already just like a mom saying no all the time.

Will you marry me?

With 28 days left until Miss Ava makes her arrival, I am unable to wear my wedding ring anymore.

B: Where's your wedding ring?
R: I put it at your mother's house so I dont' lose it.
B: Why aren't you wearing it?
R: My hands are too swollen to wear it anymore.
B (quiet for a couple of minutes as he digests this): Does that mean I don't have to do what you say anymore?

To Epidural or Not to Epidural?

B: I really want us to talk about a natural childbirth.
R: If by natural you mean with an epidural, then no problem.
B: I think we should consider no medication. I mean, we've gone through 5 classes to learn relaxation and breathing techniques and I think we can do it!
R: This isn't really a "we" situation when it comes down this particular pain.
B: I'm just not too sure about the negative effects of an epidural on the baby.
R: Epidurals have been used for a really long time to help ease the pain, I'm getting medication.
B: My vote is no medication.
R: Ok honey....then after we go with no medication for Ava's birth, we can go to Anna's barn, visit her horse, let him kick you in the nether-region, and you get no medication, we'll just use the relaxation and breathing techniques to get you through the pain.
B: I see your point.

Breastfeeding class

R: Only one more class left and then we're on our own! Breast feeding class on May 17!
B: I don't understand why I have to go to that class on breastfeeding, that's your territory!
R: It's important to me, I want....(Blake interrupts me, lightbulb goes off over his head)
B: Will there be boobs out? I may have a chance to see boobs? I'M THERE!

Mock Labor

Set up: This is our last childbirth class where we go through the different stages of labor and Blake is my coach.

R: I appreciate the massage while I'm doing the relaxation/breathing thing, but you are supposed to also talk to me an encourage me.
For the remainder of the class Blake repeats the following:
B: "Relax, Breathe, Stop Yelling at Me!"

Baby Basics

Set up: During this class we were handed baby dolls to learn baby care basics.

Blake gets his baby and names him "Leroy". He squeezes the baby's head to make its eyes open wider (the baby looked "too sleepy")
Blake's Swaddling Experience:
He refers to the blanket as the "wide receiver blanket". He puts the baby in one corner of the blanket and rolls him, turning the baby over and over again.
B: See, I told you I could do this! It's just like making a fajita!
R: Nice honey.
B: (out loud for the whole class to hear): WELCOME TO MOE'S!!!

Business Idea!!

Set Up: During childbirth class they pass out different things we may see during birth...forceps, vacuums, wires, etc. This conversation happens during that class

B: I have a GREAT business idea!
R: What?
B: Why don't we make college vacuums?
R: What?!
B: We could make vacuums that have the logos for UNC, NCSU, Duke, Elon, etc on them! So if they're going to come out with a cone head or a bruise, at least we'll know what school they're going to support!

As she grows....

R: How old is a baby when they first walk?
B: 22 months
R: How old is a baby when they get their first tooth?
B: 14 months
R: How old is a baby when they first talk?
B: It depends on when they want to start talking.
R: What age would that be?
B: 7 months

What about me??

(through our good friend Nikki)
N: How was the visit to the OB?
B: I guess it was okay.
N: Is everything all right??
B: Well, I've been to 7 or so doctor's appointments with her, and not one time have they asked how I'm doing!

Good Husband!

R: So how do you like Ava's nursery?
B: It's the best nursery I've ever seen!
R: How many nurseries have you seen?
B: Well, none, but I bet this one is the best!

Baby Food

B: I'm so excited for when Ava's like 4-5 months old!
R: Oh really, why is that?
B: Because we'll start fixing baby food for her!
R: What baby food is for a 4-5 month old?
B: Cut up hot dogs and mac n cheese.

Safety? Who needs safety?

Set up: Discussion the rest of the baby supplies we need before Ava's born

R: We can wait on getting an actual stroller and a high chair, she won't need it for awhile. We can get a Snap n Go and a good carseat.
B: We won't need the car seat in the beginning either.
R: How exactly does that work?
B: You don't put brand new infants in car seats, they're too small!
R: How do you propose we are getting her home from the hospital?
B: You sit in the backseat and hold her.

Child Birth Class

Set up: Blake and I have been in childbirth class for 3 weeks. This class they are showing a skeleton pelvis and a baby doll to show how she will be turned during actual birth.

B: So, you know on Animal Planet they have those boa constrictors that unhinge their jaws to swallow a goat?
R: (should this question have been responded to?? NO): Yes........
B: Is that what your pelvis is going to do?

An Elephant?

R: How far along am I in this pregnancy (At the time was 26 weeks pregnant)
B: 17 weeks
R: Really? How many weeks pregnant will I be when I have Ava?
B: 56 weeks

B: Why do you want to get the nursery set up so badly?
R: I just want it finished before she gets here!
B: But she'll be sleeping in our room for awhile, so she won't need the nursery.
R: I agree, but I won't feel like setting up a nursery that soon after she's born. How long do you think she's going to stay in our room?
B: 2 years